Manage-Wise

Mind’s paintbrush

Have you ever heard someone say, “Attitude is everything?” It seems to be a favorite line of some motivational speakers. According to them, a great attitude is all you need to be successful. Unfortunately, it’s simply not true.

I do a lot of professional speaking. Each year I communicate at live events to 250,000 people. And I do believe in motivating others. However, I don’t think of myself as a motivating speaker. I call myself a motivational teacher. That may seem like a technicality, but here’s the difference: A motivational speaker makes you feel good, but the next day you are not sure why. A motivational teacher also makes you feel good, but the next day you possess something that will actually help you.

The promise that attitude is everything is hollow. In fact, if you believe that attitude is everything, it may actually hurt you more than help you. If attitude were everything, then the only thing that would separate me from a successful singing career would be the belief that I can do it. But trust me, there is another factor that stands in my way: talent. If you have watched the reality show American Idol, then you know what I mean. I am amazed at the number of terrible auditioners who respond to blunt criticism from the judges by saying things like, “I know I can sing. That’s just your opinion.” Truthfully, no attitude is strong enough to compensate for lack of skill.

So does a good attitude make any difference? Absolutely. Attitude is the difference maker! Attitude isn’t everything, but it is one thing that can make a difference in your life. Businessman, philanthropist, and author W Clement Stone stated, “There is little difference in people, but the little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”

The goal of this book is not to snow you by saying that attitude is everything, but to show you that your attitude is the difference maker in your life. I desire to do that by helping you understand where your attitude comes from, what it can and can’t do for you, and how you can make it an asset. I also want to give you insight into how to deal with the big five attitude obstacles everybody faces: discouragement, change, problems, fear, and failure. If you are like most people, you have to deal with at least one of those issues every single day! Let’s take this journey together by first looking at some basics about attitude.

What is attitude?

What is an attitude, anyway? When you hear the word, what do you think about? I think of attitude as an inward feeling expressed by outward behavior. People always project on the outside what they feel on the inside. Some people try to mask their attitude, and they can fool others for a while. But that cover-up doesn’t last long. Attitude always wiggles its way out.

My father loves to tell the story of a four-year old boy who was finally put into time-out after battling his mother.

“Sit in that chair until the timer goes off,” the mother said in frustration. The boy sat down, fearing greater punishment, but said, “Okay, Mommy. I am sitting on the outside, but I am standing up on the inside.”

Your attitude colors every aspect of your life. It is like the mind’s paintbrush. It can paint everything in bright, vibrant colors—creating a masterpiece. Or it can make everything dark and dreary. Attitude is so pervasive and important that I have come to think of it like this:

• It is the vanguard of your true self.
• Its root is inward but its fruit is outward.
• It is your best friend or worst enemy.
• It is more honest and consistent about you than your words.
• It is your outward look based on your past experiences.
• It is what draws people to you or repels them.
• It is never content until it is expressed.
• It is the librarian of your past.
• It is the speaker of your present.
• It is the prophet of your future.

There is not a single part of your current life that is not affected by your attitude. And your future will definitely be influenced by the attitude you carry with you from today forward.

Your attitude colors every aspect of your life. It is like the mind’s paintbrush.

Pertinent questions

If your attitude is so important, then you may be asking yourself, Where did I get it? Am I stuck with it my whole life—for better or worse? First, let’s look at some of the questions of where your attitude comes from.

• Personality—who you are?

Two men were out fishing. When the fish stopped biting, they started to talk. One man praised his wife and extolled her many virtues, summing it up by saying, “You know, if all men were like me, they would all want to be married to my wife.”

“And if they were like me,” the other replied, “none of them would want to be!”

Everybody’s different. Each person is born a unique individual. We are all as different as our fingerprints. That’s true even of siblings born of the same parents and brought up in the same household. Even twins who are genetically identical have distinct personalities.

Your personality type—your natural “wiring”—impacts your attitude. That’s not to say that you are trapped by your personality, because you are not. But your attitude is certainly impacted by it.

• Environment—who’s around?

The environment you were exposed to growing up definitely has an impact on your attitude. Did your parents go through a divorce? That may cause you to have a mistrustful attitude toward members of the opposite sex. Did someone close to you die? That may prompt you to have an attitude of emotional distancing from others. Did you grow up in a poor neighborhood? That may prompt you to have a tenacious attitude toward achievement. In contrast, it could make you want to give up more easily.

Excerpt from ‘The Difference Maker’ by John C Maxwell. Reproduced with permission © 2008, Dorling Kindersley (India) Pvt. Ltd.